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Jay Hova

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Hippy Bullshit [11 Feb 2013|01:26pm]
I am constantly amazed that normal, intelligent, rational people who are able to to arrange and express cogent thoughts are so able to buy into feel good, pop psych, bullshit like the phrase "I'm not responsible for other people's feelings.". Such utterly nonsensical declarative statements make me cringe at the dangerous stupidity of the people babbling this self-serving, irresponsible, claptrap.

Let us, for the sake of analysis, break down and examine this statement. The first half on the sentence can be interpreted in a number of ways. It could for instance be taken to mean: 'I am irresponsible' or 'I fail to be responsible' or 'I am not the cause' or 'I cannot be held accountable', etc. So, you are either claiming callus disregard for the results of you actions, declaring that your actions had no effect, or declaring that you are above being accountable for the hurt caused by your actions. If we examine each of these cases we see in the first case, espousing the claim that one feels no remorse for practicing callus disregard for others seems to indicate an inhuman lack of compassion for fellow people. It would seem insanely stupid to make such a declaration. Skipping to the third case we see a circumstance where the declaration is that it is acceptable to cause mental anguish and suffering in others because of some special elevation or divine right. This again, seems like a truly half-witted statement for a reasonably enlightened person to be making. Back to the second case we come to 'I am not the cause of the emotional hurt that others feel'. People may feel that this statement is valid but of course it is false. The premise on which this is based is the false. The premise is that people are in control of their feelings. This might seem to be true but is in fact not. The amount of emotional effect you have on people is directly proportional to the value they place in you and your opinions and how much they depend on you for emotional support. A normal human person requires a certain amount of emotional reinforcement and support. To be denied this will cause severe emotional and developmental problems. Unless a person is severely autistic or otherwise unable to have emotional attachments, the need for emotional support is unavoidable. As humans we receive just about all of our feedback on our social acceptance and integration from other humans. So as you see the way you treat other people does have an emotional impact. This simply can't be helped.

As the above clearly illustrates, people cannot help but be affected by the things you say and do. It seems clear enough that to say 'I am not responsible for the the things I do that affect other people emotionally' is just as invalid as saying 'I am not responsible for the the things I do that affect other people.'. Of course the problem here is what should a reasonable person be responsible for? Well, it seems logical that a reasonable person would and should act in a reasonable and responsible fashion, treating others as they would wish to be treated.  

The only things you can truly say are 'I am not responsible for the emotions of others over which I have no control.' or 'I should not be held accountable for people's emotions when I have treated those people responsibly.'. Really all that is is a statement of 'I am responsible for the things for which I am responsible.'. Be ever vigilant that you do not fall into the trap of buying into feel good, I can do no wrong, pop psych, glittering generalities that are for the most part just a way of relieving you of the responsibilities of being a good person.
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Selfishness [09 Dec 2011|11:00am]
It occurs to me that I have never really heard a good definition for the word selfish. Generally speaking it is accepted that interest in the self is the basis of selfishness and that in order to not be selfish one must balance selfishness with selflessness. The problem here is that this is an illusion in so far that selflessness is a thing which by it's nature cannot exist. As René Descartes said Cogito ergo sum (I think therefore I am) we accept that the self is the origin of thought and therefore all motivations and their associated actions are a priori acts of self. Even if we accept that these "selfless acts" are actions that benefit others and not the self it is still the self that evaluates the worth of these actions and the self that accepts the benefits and costs based on that evaluation. If we accept these self-evident things as fact, as I feel any thinking person must, we can see that all acts originating with the self (as all acts do) are by definition selfish.

Because this is the case the term "selfish" loses meaning as it refers to all actions. As this is the case and because I would like to use a word that has meaning I am choosing tho use the word to describe a person who expects expects that others should be more generous with them than they are willing to be in return. That is to say that it is selfish to expect someone else to do for you and make efforts on your behalf unless you to are willing to do the same for them, To do so is to say that I am deserving of aid and comfort from you and you are not deserving of the same from me. To my mind it seems like this is what selfishness should be defined as.
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axiomatic rules for relationships [01 Jul 2011|09:09pm]

I have been told by more than one person that I lack emotional intelligence. I have no idea what that means. No one has ever qualified this statement. Of course this implies that I am emotionally stupid.

Perhaps this is the reason I use a set of fixed rules to determain my value.

1. Everyone has a value. This value must be determained by treatment.

2. How you feel about someone is irrelevent. The only important thing is how you treat them. i.e. the secret thoughts in your head don't impact others only your interactions with people have an effect on those people. To love and treat poorly is,essentially the same as no love.

3. People will consistantly treat you in the manner they feel you deserve.

4. People will consistanly encourage others in the manner they feel you deserve.

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

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saturday [19 Jun 2011|12:06am]


another saturday night and i aint got nobody, i got no money cause i dont get paid.

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

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LJ [12 Jun 2011|06:05pm]
poor live journal you are so alone after that slut Facebook stole you users
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Catch 22 [03 Apr 2011|05:46pm]
It seems like no one wants to help me because I don't have my shit together and I can't get my shit together because no one want to help me.
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Maturity and contractual arraingments [31 Mar 2011|01:55pm]
It has been said by some that I lack maturity. To my mind the yardstick to maturity seems to be a willingness to conduct yourself in a manner consistent with others in your age bracket. I ask, Where's the fun in that? I am really not interested in pleasing others at my own expense. My behavior is dictated primarily by my own set of rules created to service me. In general I find that the result of this is that I am ostracized from groups that I for the most part would not wish to have anything to do with. This ostracization actually benefits me as I don't really want to be told what I ought to be doing by these sorts of people.

This brings me somewhere near my point. I generally avoid the term maturity as it is typically used as tool to control behavior by producing a certain level of compliance through shame. That is to say that if I were to, for instance, shout out the word "whore!" in public this would be seen as immature behavior as it is a disruption of the social parameters defined by the majority for polite society. It is likely that social pressure would be brought to bear to correct this. As social creatures, humans tend to nip at those who step outside the boundaries of what we consider "correct" behavior, placing social pressure on those members of the human race to come into compliance with accepted normality. This instinct is quite strong in humans as is the instinct to comply with an authority figure. The Milgram experiment on obedience to authority figures showed that 65% of adults were willing to subject other people to possible death on the say so of an authority figure and a considerably higher percentage were willing to cause other people serious levels pain when told to by an authority figure.

Okay, we are getting quite close to the point now. Soon. As I have demonstrated above, maturity is not what people generally believe it to be. Maturity is a willingness to conform to the social pressures to behave in a manner considered "age appropriate" NOT a willingness to be responsible for your actions.

And here we are at my point. Well, very nearly. Because of the issues listed above, I avoid the terms mature and age appropriate for the most part. Instead I classify human beings by the level of responsibility I expect from them. Quite simply if you are an adult I expect you to be a responsible person. Period. Responsibility is a choice. You can choose to be responsible or not. There really isn't a middle ground. Not in my book. Let's take being drunk for an example. Many people think drunkenness is an excuse. However, if you drink and drive you will be held accountable, as you should be. Doing anything while drunk is your responsibility whether you plow through a schoolyard full of children or tell someone what an asshole they are. It's not like someone held a gun to your head and said "Drink until you do something you'll regret". The rule is simple, you are responsible for the things you do that are under your control. If you choose to give up control that choice is still under your control.

Okay, here we are. One of the fundamental principle actions that define a person as an adult is the ability to enter into agreements with others and adhere to those agreements even when the outcome of the agreement is no longer favorable without fear as a motivation. Simply put, to do what you said you would do no matter what. To keep your promises. Agreements are one of foundations of human interaction. It's important to understand agreements. There are three stages to every agreement. Stage one is negotiation. People make a series of pledges to perform certain actions. This takes the form of I'll do this, if you'll do that. At some point someone says "Okay I'll do it". At this point the agreement has been reached and it is the responsibility of both parties to understand their obligations under the agreement. Now we move to stage three of the agreement, fulfillment. Both parties are obligated to adhere to all the agreed upon terms of the arraignment. No single party may change the agreement without a new agreement being reached. Any party that fails to adhere to the agreed upon terms puts the agreement in abeyance. Even circumstances beyond the party's control that make it impossible to fulfill the agreement in no way change their obligation to fulfill the agreement. It is the failing party's obligation to satisfy the needs of the party that adhered to the agreement. It is NEVER the duty of the party that adhered to the agreement to forgive the failing party. It is ALWAYS the failing parties duty to make good any damage caused the complying party by their failure to fulfill their end of the deal.

To me these are the things that really indicate if you are an adult is your ability to adhere to agreements without the need for coercion or fear of consequences. If you are going to tell me how I need to be more mature keep in mind that I adhere to my agreements and understand my obligations if I am unable or in some other way fail to do so.

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
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The three means of acquisition [04 Mar 2011|09:49am]
There are three paths to obtaining things from other people. These are through commerce, gift and theft.

Commerce is generally accepted to mean the mutually agreed upon and fair exchange of value being mutually beneficial to both parties. Human society greatly depends on 'quid pro quo' or something for something interaction. 

A gift or a present is the transfer of something without the expectation of receiving something in return. Although gift-giving might involve an expectation of reciprocity, a gift is meant to be free. Generally gifts are given either as a show of thanks or as a means of enticing the other party into more exchanges through a show of generosity.

Theft is the taking of property or services without consent or without the agreed upon compensation thus permently depriving the other party their property or the enjoyment of the fruits of their labors. It should be noted that intent is a large part of theft. It is possible to take something while under the impression that the property or service was due the taking party but this does not excuse depriving of the second party of their property. That is to say if party A finds a cake and thinks 'oh how nice, someone remembered my birthday' and eats the cake and party B comes along and says 'where is the cake that I was taking to my mother?' party A is liable to replace the cake. Failure on party A's part to provide just compensation for party B's lost becomes intent to permanently deprive party B of their property. The providing of cake ingredients would not constitute fair compensation for the same reason that a pile of building materials would not substitute for the loss of one's house.
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What is your time worth? [15 Feb 2011|10:00pm]
I resent being told that someone would resent being asked to give up for me what I have already given up for them. It's as if they are saying my life and happiness is worth more than yours.
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My trip home from Austin Thursday night [07 Feb 2011|04:11am]
I go up to Austin for the day Wednesday and plan to come home Thursday afternoon. As it happens my plans to leave get delayed and I stay in Austin until well after sundown. The weather in Austin is not so bad so I don't think anything of it when I leave to go home. Thirty minutes or so into my drive I'm encountering freezing drizzle. Not actually rain just enough to get spots on the windshield that pretty much freeze after landing. By the time I am though Bastrop, I have a sheet of ice on my windshield and I stop to get some washer fluid. From then till I get nearly to Columbus the ice is getting bad and I can only really see out of the bottom on my windshield where the defroster can warm it up enough to keep it ice free.

As I get to the last mile before I-10 I am crossing a bridge when I encounter a phenomenon pilots refer to as departure from controlled flight. I am going alone at highway speeds (just like everyone else at that point) when the Jeep starts turning to the left and moving to the right. This continues until I kiss the right hand part of the bridge going 65 MPH. At that point the vehicle is turning the other way and heading in the opposite direction. until I hit un-iced pavement going sideways. I straighten the car and continue on when I notice something very odd in the way the car is driving. I pull over and notice that both of my back tires are nearly flat and the sudden sideways maneuver caused them to pull off the rim a bit and loose air pressure. I get the electric tire pump out and start it going. It takes a while as it is pretty much junk. After 10-15 minutes I decide to pull to the other side of the road so I can see the other tire. Unfortunately, turning causes the other tire to completely pull off the rim. AAA estimates it will be another hour before they get there. So I go out and try to jack up the car. Meanwhile, AAA calls with an update (now thirty minutes later telling me that it will be another hour. Unfortunately, the jack I have is missing the handle so I have to make do. After 2 attempts I get the back wheel high enough off the ground so that I can pull on it while the air pump is going and I eventually get the tire back on the rim and inflated.

Okay, so now I figure I'm alright. I-10 is a major highway and they will have sanded all the bridges. To my great chagrin I only went a few miles when again my car spins, this time leaving me in a ditch facing the oncoming traffic. When I tried to move forward I found that my wheels just spun. I found the only direction I could move was backwards further down into the ditch. After a short while I was able to get the Jeep moving along the ditch and I waited for my chance to pull onto the road again. I was able to get back on and the car slid around 180 degrees and was again facing the direction of traffic. At this point I found I could only go 20 MPH. Any faster would cause mt rear end to slide sideways out from behind me. After four more hours of driving on icy roads I finally got home a bit over six hours after I leave Austin.
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The commitments [07 Jan 2011|06:57am]
We live in an increasingly I, Me, My universe. I find this very irritating because this is not the world I wish to live in. I want to live in a world where people don't put their feelings above commitments they have made. More than once I have been told by someone that the commitment they made to me would not be honored. Not, mind you, because I had done something, but because honoring that commitment no longer fit in with their plans. I feel like Charlie Brown running at the football only to have it yanked away. I feel I have made a down payment on a car that has been sold to someone else and now I am told "that money is gone". Wait a minute. WTF? I was very clear on what I would give and what I expected to get and invested time money and energy only to get treated like a piece of shit. Am I bitter. Yes. Why am I told that I should just take it? Why am I told that I need to be more of an adult? What exactly is not adult about expecting the other party to honor the arraignment they made with me and becoming mad as hell when they decide that they just don't want to. What is not adult about become angry when I find that my needs are unimportant?

It seems that this new age philosophy only really applies to people. No one says that if you went out and bought a car and suddenly found that the car no longer emotionally met your needs you shouldn't have to keep it. Guess what, you are still responsible for paying for that car. You can't just take it back and tell the guy you want your money back because you really felt that this car was going to make you feel better about yourself and the felling better only lasted 4 mouths. Commitment doesn't come with a guaranty. If you could just change your mind at any time it wouldn't be called commitment.
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Sometimes a song shouldn't be given a second chance [17 Nov 2010|09:38am]
I'm in The Home Despot last night trying to get my shit together so I can finish my shower project when the I am struck by the music they are playing.  The song is Second Chance by Shinedown yet another infinity forgettable band making infinity forgettable music. It strikes me this morning after reading something about the Beatles and how well their music still sells is that the songs they wrote were not written to perform well in a particular demographic and chart as quickly as possible by appealing to the listener's basic need to have someone "get them". None of this constant personal struggle music that the recording industry churns out. The Beatles songs told stories and promoted ideas. A song about imagining the possibilities of a world without borders and religion separating them is way better than some guy whining about how much it hurts to fight with his parents about living his life the way he feels he must then running away.

BTW, just in case you really like that song I just want to say that you are a douche.
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Shower room, the project continues: Drawers, drawers, drawers [15 Nov 2010|05:38pm]

Having selected a wallpaper I really liked, I decided to go with matching hardware for the drawers. So I called my Mom and tasked her with the project of finding bamboo drawer pulls. The question was asked as to the width of the old pulls. When measured they showed to be 3 1/2" while most modern pulls are 3". I told Mom to just order the ones she wanted and I would deal with the hole spacing situation. The day came when the new pulls arrived and it was time to get to work.

This is the old drawer with the original pull.

 I removed the old pull by unscrewing it from behind.

The old then comes off with a tug. As you can see the new pull is 1/2" shorter. You can also see that the old handle had been painted in place as a chunk of paint came off with it.


The old loose paint is removed. I used a wood chisel to do this. There were 4 layers of paint. It is difficult to see but under the beige there is a layer of green paint. The paint that didn't simply peel off I sanded smooth.


Here I am installing the wood dowel that I used to plug the old hole.


It's important that when you cut the dowel you use a very sharp wood chisel other wise you will crush the dowel rather than cut it. The sharp wood chisel will cut the dowel flush with the surface which is then filled with wood putty and the whole thing it sanded smooth. A couple of  coats of the paint I had matched to the wallpaper are applied with a cheap 4" brush, sanding in between coats. I then used a Purty brush to give a glossy final coat. Below is the result.


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Shower room, the project [15 Nov 2010|04:52pm]
Ok, I've been working on getting new wallpaper up in my shower room. The old paper was coming down and I decided just to go ahead and pull it. I made an effort to preserve the old cloth backing. In the old days before wallboard was used for everything people used ship lap or lapboard to build walls. These boards are made to go together by notching the boards with a quarter inch rabbit or cutout on the top and bottom of the board one rabbit the inside (the part toward the 2x4) and one on the outside (facing into the room). The boards would lock together as the rows of planks would form a groove for the next plank to sit in. Of course the process was not perfect and the walls needed to be covered with panels or paper. Since paper would show the gaps and unevenness of the planks, the walls were covered with a cloth mesh that would hold the paper. The mesh did not show the gaps in the wood because it was stretched over the whole wall.


You can see the mesh here. Through the cloth you can see the ship lap planks. I installed drywall inside corner bead as this would allow to turn a tight corner while keeping it smooth.



Here is the paper after I after I put it up. I found I had a problem in that the original paper was done with an overlap or selvage modern papers are not designed to do this and are made to go on top of smooth surfaces like wallboard. This presented a problem to me as the cloth was not ridged and would flex and sag somewhat this meant I had to find a means of holding the paper in place while the paste set. I used blue painters tape to do this at the match points where the paper met. you can see this on the right.

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Friday Game [05 Sep 2010|09:44pm]
Once again I am gaming with the Ye old Dungeons & Dragons. Players this week included myself, Lily and Patrick. We will be playing again on the 17th.
So far the game consists of a party of 4 non-humans consisting of an Elf, a Half-elf, a Halfling and a Half-Orc. We hope to be joined by more players next time.
The opening game consisted of the party meeting after the elvish bard had her purse snatched by a halfling member of the thieves guild. We traced the guild hangout to a local tavern where we encountered a female guild member who offered to give my character (the half-elf) information on his father's murder six months prior. In exchange for this information the party was told that the guild wished to collect money owed by a gang of bandits half a day south of town. The party was lead to believe that these bandits were responsible for the attack on the half-orc's caravan. After being given the location of the band we headed south and encountered a party in what looked to be the described location. One of our party was spotted and the other party demanded booze or money. When neither was forthcoming they attacked. The fight ended after we routed what we thought were bandits. We came upon a group holding bows and claiming to be merchants. We ran them off and searched the wagons finding nothing to indicate them as the ones we were looking for. Theses merchants claimed the leader had ridden off. My familiar spotted someone fleeing south along the road. We gave chase. The riders horse stumbled and feel killing the rider, an elf with a very interesting magic signet ring and a scroll. We decided to take the scroll to the dwarves further down the road as this seemed to be the most likely location for it's intended delivery. At this point is was clear that we had be duped into stopping the delivery of this scroll.
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beach of death [31 Jul 2010|05:38pm]
I just got back from port Aransas. Two days camping on the beach. I am tired, sunburned and everything is covered in sand.
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Austin [27 Jul 2010|11:38pm]
Back in Houston for a stop over. Time to check what is happening on the Internets
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Planting Grass [13 Jun 2010|05:12pm]
I planted some grass in my front yard today. this included cordoning off the area.
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The purge [10 Jun 2010|06:53pm]
I have now removed 2 truck loads of computer and electronics from my house. There is still more to go.
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Yippy [05 Jun 2010|05:17pm]
I have updated my hardware. New Motherboard, CPU and memory along with a new case. The change over was pretty easy. I was even able to migrate my RAID 5 array with no problems.
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